I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
