you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
