this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
