There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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