I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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