Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
