I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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