I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize