Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
