just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize