He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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