Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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