it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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