College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
