that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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