Sponge bath it is.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
