I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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