Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
