I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize