What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
