he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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