Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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