Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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