When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
