Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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