And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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