the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
