True but thats because hes a fetus.
Where is the hickey?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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