well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize