if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
