Do you still have your period?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i came on her dog
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
