I didn't shave. On purpose
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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