If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
