i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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