Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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