he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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