I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize