if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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