let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
