People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize