my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize