Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
