Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
