The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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