I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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