she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
