like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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