bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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