I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're so nebulous sometimes
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
