We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
did i just pee glitter
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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