i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
