im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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