Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
