i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
