Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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