he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
