i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
