theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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