Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
