So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
