why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he fucked my hip out of place.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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