yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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