You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
