that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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