I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
