Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
