so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize