Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
