i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
