I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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