its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Everything about him screamed your future.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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