it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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