I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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