Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
