Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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