She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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