try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
