True but thats because hes a fetus.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
