id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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